I spent my life being a fighter – as a kid literally fighting – kick, punch, bite, yank, you need to toughen up with 2 older brothers. As an adult it meant, defend, protect, push, drive, strive, control, cling. It took me almost 40 years before I finally learned how to engage in the power of surrender, acceptance, and flow.
I always imagined that surrender and acceptance would be the death of ambition and forward momentum. That letting go of striving, always pushing need to prove myself better, stronger, more successful (mostly than myself ) would leave me a couch potato with a with dozen donuts and an remote control obsession.
Instead, I find that this peaceful, curious, joyful approach to engaging in those things I am passionate about, means I not longer spend my time battling fear of failure (and success), and more time finding a way to engage in, and create, what my heart desires. Perhaps I will succeed in whatever new project I have on the boil at any one time, perhaps I will not, I surrender to those 2 possibilities, and as a result, and am able to work today with a gentle, focused joy in this moment, rather than a fearful angst about whether it is going to be the right thing to get me there. As a result, I have truly experienced this moment – and since it is a variety succession “this moments” that make up my life, I have experienced my life, and it is good.
I have learned to measure my success in a new way. I no longer wait for the outcome of my project to as the single measure of my success, a methodology that was sure to up my daily adrenaline output. Instead, I count myself successful everyday in a variety of life affirming ways. I show up, I do my best, I live in my best possible joy, I do scary, challenging things and relish them, I practice, I feel my joy, I experience pleasure in the moment, I do the work, I connect, I treat myself kindly, I take care of myself, I give myself time for other things, I live.